It doesn’t matter how good a life you’ve led. There’ll still be people standing around the bed who will welcome the sad event.
Even with the intelligent and good. Won’t there be someone thinking “Finally! To be through with that old schoolteacher. Even though he never said anything, you could always feel him judging you.” And that’s for a good man. How many traits do you have that would make a lot of people glad to be rid of you?
Remember that, when the time comes. You’ll be less reluctant to leave if you can tell yourself, “This is the sort of life I’m leaving. Even the people around me, the ones I spent so much time fighting for, praying over, caring about—even they want me gone, in hopes that it will make their own lives easier. How could anyone stand a longer stay here?”
And yet, don’t leave angry with them. Be true to who you are: caring, sympathetic, kind. And not as if you were being torn away from life. But the way it is when someone dies peacefully, how the soul is released from the body—that’s how you should leave them. It was nature that bound you to them—that tied the knot. And nature that now unties you.
I am released from those around me. Not dragged against my will, but unresisting.
There are things that nature demands. And this is one of them.
Meditations 10.36
Today’s meditation
The underlying Stoic issue in this passage is the importance of living in accordance with nature and accepting the inevitability of death and separation. In Meditations 10.36, Marcus Aurelius reflects on how even good people will be met with relief by some when they pass away. This reveals a key aspect of living well: detachment from the opinions and approval of others.
As Marcus Aurelius notes, "It doesn’t matter how good a life you’ve led. There’ll still be people standing around the bed who will welcome the sad event." This phrase highlights the futility of seeking validation from others. Instead, one should focus on being "true to who you are: caring, sympathetic, kind." This mindset allows individuals to cultivate inner strength and resilience, unshaken by the opinions of others.
To apply this insight today, consider the following: when faced with a situation where you feel the need for approval or validation from others, remind yourself that their opinions are ultimately fleeting and insignificant. Focus on living in accordance with your values and principles, rather than seeking external validation. As Marcus Aurelius says, "I am released from those around me. Not dragged against my will, but unresisting." This sense of detachment can bring a sense of freedom and peace, allowing you to live more authentically.
A practical step to take today could be to reflect on your relationships and identify areas where you may be seeking approval or validation from others. Ask yourself: "What would I do if I weren't concerned with what others think?" This question can help you clarify your values and priorities, and make decisions that align with your true nature. By embracing this mindset, you can cultivate a sense of inner peace and live more in harmony with nature, as Marcus Aurelius suggests: "There are things that nature demands. And this is one of them."