‘Well, does that mean that if someone wrongs me I shouldn’t hurt them in return?’ First of all, look at what wrongdoing is and remember what you have heard about it from philosophers. [25] Because if ‘good’ as well as ‘bad’ really relate to our choices, then consider whether your position does not amount to saying something like, [26] ‘Well, since that guy hurt himself with the injustice he did me, shouldn’t I wrong him in order to hurt myself in retaliation?’
Discourses 2.10.24
Today’s meditation
The underlying Stoic issue here is the concept of retaliation and the nature of wrongdoing. As Epictetus notes, "if 'good' as well as 'bad' really relate to our choices" (Discourses 2.10.25). This passage reveals that seeking revenge or retaliation can be self-destructive, as it implies harming oneself in the process.
The key insight is that our choices, not external events, determine what is good or bad for us. When someone wrongs us, our natural response might be to retaliate, but this passage suggests that such a response would be misguided. Instead, we should focus on maintaining our own character and making choices that align with virtue.
To apply this insight today, consider the following: when faced with a situation where someone has wronged you, take a step back and reflect on your response. Ask yourself, "Is my reaction driven by a desire for revenge, or can I respond in a way that maintains my integrity and virtue?" Remember that seeking revenge can lead to harming yourself, as Epictetus puts it, " shouldn't I wrong him in order to hurt myself in retaliation?" (Discourses 2.10.26).
As you navigate your day, strive to make choices that promote your own character and well-being, rather than reacting impulsively to external events. By doing so, you will be living in accordance with Stoic principles and cultivating a stronger sense of agency and virtue.
What is one situation today where you can choose to respond with virtue, rather than reacting impulsively to someone else's actions?