‘Of course she does.’
‘Then should she, too, have left her?’
‘No.’
‘And the nurse – does she have affectionate feelings toward the girl?’
‘She does.’
‘So should she, also, have left her?’
‘Certainly not.’
‘And her personal slave and teacher, doesn’t he have feelings for her?’
‘Yes.’
Discourses 1.11.22
Today’s meditation
The underlying Stoic issue here is the distinction between emotional attachment and responsible action. In this passage, Epictetus explores the idea that having affectionate feelings toward someone does not necessarily dictate our actions.
As Epictetus notes through his series of questions, having feelings of affection does not automatically imply that one should act on those feelings in every situation. This reveals a crucial aspect of living well: recognizing the difference between our emotions and our duties.
To apply this insight today, consider a situation where your emotional response might conflict with your responsibilities or values. Ask yourself: "What are my duties in this situation, regardless of how I feel?" Focus on fulfilling those duties, rather than being swayed by your emotions. This approach can help you cultivate a sense of inner strength and wisdom, allowing you to navigate life's challenges with greater clarity and purpose.
In the words of Epictetus, this passage implicitly suggests that one should prioritize their responsibilities and duties over their emotional inclinations. By doing so, you can develop a more stoic approach to life, one that balances emotional awareness with rational decision-making. As you go about your day, remember to distinguish between your feelings and your actions, and strive to act in accordance with your values and duties, rather than being controlled by your emotions.
What is one situation today where you can practice separating your emotional response from your responsible action?