‘So who should I hope wins? The winner. That way the victory is always exactly what I hoped for.’
‘But I want Sophron to be crowned.’
Then hold all the contests you want at your own house, and you can proclaim him victor in the Nemean, Pythian, Isthmian and Olympic Games conjointly. But out in public don’t ask for too much by hoping to gain a monopoly on a privilege shared by all – [12] otherwise get used to being vilified. Because when you engage in the same things as the masses, you lower yourself to their level.
Discourses 3.4.11
Today’s meditation
The underlying Stoic issue in this passage is the desire for control over external events and the tendency to form attachments to specific outcomes. Epictetus advises, "So who should I hope wins? The winner. That way the victory is always exactly what I hoped for." [Discourses 3.4.11] This statement reveals the importance of accepting the things that are outside of our control and instead focusing on our own reactions and attitudes.
This insight can be applied to daily life by recognizing that we often try to exert control over things that are not within our power to control. When we do this, we set ourselves up for disappointment and frustration. Instead, we can learn to accept the outcome of events with equanimity, as Epictetus suggests. For example, if we are waiting for news about a job application or a relationship, we can focus on preparing ourselves for either outcome, rather than investing all our hopes in one specific result.
As Epictetus notes, "when you engage in the same things as the masses, you lower yourself to their level." [Discourses 3.4.12] This warning suggests that we should be mindful of our own values and principles, and not get caught up in the desires and expectations of others. By letting go of our attachment to specific outcomes and focusing on what we can control, we can maintain our integrity and live in accordance with our values.
To apply this insight today, you might ask yourself: What am I hoping for in this situation? Is the outcome within my control? Can I focus on accepting whatever happens, rather than trying to control the outcome? By reflecting on these questions, you can begin to cultivate a greater sense of detachment and acceptance, and live more in accordance with the principles of Stoicism.