Who, after all, does not have a preconception of ‘bad’, to the effect that it is harmful, that it should be avoided, and that we should use every means to get rid of it? One preconception does not conflict with another, [45] conflict arises when it comes to their application. What is this ‘bad’, then, which is also harmful and needs to be avoided? One says it’s not being Caesar’s friend: he’s off the mark, he’s not applying preconceptions properly, and is distressed because he’s stuck on something that doesn’t meet the definition. Because if he succeeds in securing Caesar’s friendship he still hasn’t got what he wants – [46] the same thing, really, that we all want: to live in peace, to be happy, to do as we like and never be foiled or forced to act against our wishes.
When a man gains Caesar’s friendship, does he stop being hindered or constrained, does he live in peace and happiness? Whom should we ask? Well, who is more to be trusted than the person who has actually gained his confidence? [47] So step up, sir, and tell us, when did you sleep more soundly, now or before you became intimate with Caesar? ‘By the gods, stop mocking my condition. You don’t know what agonies I endure. I can’t even fall off to sleep before someone comes and announces, “The emperor is up already, and about to make his appearance,” and then I’m harassed by one worry and crisis after another.’
Discourses 4.1.44
Today’s meditation
The underlying Stoic issue here is the nature of true happiness and fulfillment. As Epictetus notes, we all want "to live in peace, to be happy, to do as we like and never be foiled or forced to act against our wishes" (Discourses 4.1.46). However, the passage reveals that external achievements, such as gaining the friendship of a powerful person like Caesar, do not necessarily bring about this desired state.
The example of the man who has gained Caesar's confidence, yet still endures "agonies" and is "harassed by one worry and crisis after another," illustrates that true happiness and peace are not found in external status or possessions (Discourses 4.1.47). This insight suggests that one should focus on what is within their control, rather than constantly striving for external validation or material success.
To apply this insight today, one might reflect on their own values and priorities. What are the things that truly bring them peace and happiness? Are they focusing on external achievements, or are they cultivating inner strength and resilience? As Epictetus implies, true fulfillment comes from living in accordance with one's values and principles, rather than chasing after external rewards.
A practical step might be to take a few moments to examine one's own desires and motivations. Ask yourself: What am I striving for, and why? Is it truly aligned with my values and principles, or am I seeking external validation? By clarifying your values and focusing on what is within your control, you can begin to cultivate a sense of inner peace and happiness that is not dependent on external circumstances.
As you go about your day, consider this question: What is one thing I can do today to align my actions with my values, rather than seeking external validation or success?