Well, should we try telling this to the ignorant mob? [31] What would be the point? It’s enough if we are convinced of it ourselves. When children come up to us clapping their hands and shouting, ‘Today is good Saturnalia,’ do we say, ‘The Saturnalia is not “good”?’ Of course not, we clap our hands right along with them. [32] As for you, if you can’t change a person’s mind, realize that he is no more than a child – and clap hands with him. And if you can’t bring yourself to do that, then just keep quiet.
Discourses 1.29.30
Today’s meditation
The underlying Stoic issue here is the futility of trying to change others' opinions and the importance of focusing on what we can control. As Epictetus notes, "It's enough if we are convinced of it ourselves" (Discourses 1.29.30). This passage reveals that living well involves recognizing the limits of our influence and accepting that we cannot force others to see things from our perspective.
This insight can be applied today by being mindful of when we are trying to change someone's mind or opinion. Instead of getting frustrated or invested in convincing others, we can focus on our own thoughts, actions, and character. As Epictetus advises, if we can't change someone's mind, we should "realize that he is no more than a child – and clap hands with him" (Discourses 1.29.32). This means that we can choose to humor others or simply keep quiet, rather than engaging in futile arguments.
In practical terms, someone might apply this insight today by letting go of the need to be right or to convince others of their point of view. For example, if a colleague or family member expresses a differing opinion, instead of trying to argue or persuade them, we can simply listen and acknowledge their perspective, even if we don't agree with it. By doing so, we can conserve our energy and maintain our inner peace, rather than getting caught up in unnecessary conflicts or debates.
As we go about our day, we might ask ourselves: What am I trying to control or change that is outside of my power? How can I focus on my own thoughts, actions, and character, rather than trying to influence others?