So other people hurt me? That’s their problem. Their character and actions are not mine. What is done to me is ordained by nature, what I do by my own.
Meditations 5.25
Today’s meditation
The underlying Stoic issue here is the distinction between what is within our control and what is not. In Meditations 5.25, Marcus Aurelius reminds us that "what is done to me is ordained by nature, what I do by my own." This passage reveals that our focus should be on our own character and actions, rather than on the actions of others.
As Marcus Aurelius notes, "So other people hurt me? That's their problem." This phrase suggests that we should not take on the burden of others' behavior, but instead, focus on our own reactions and responses. By doing so, we can maintain our inner strength and integrity, regardless of external circumstances.
To apply this insight today, consider the following: when faced with a challenging situation or person, take a step back and assess what is within your control. Ask yourself, "What can I do in this moment to act with virtue and integrity?" Focus on your own thoughts, feelings, and actions, rather than trying to control or change others.
As you navigate your day, remember that "their character and actions are not mine." This means that you are not responsible for others' behavior, and you should not let their actions dictate your own. Instead, focus on cultivating your own character and acting in accordance with your values. By doing so, you can live in greater alignment with your principles and maintain a sense of inner peace, regardless of external events.
What is one situation today where you can apply this insight and focus on your own character and actions, rather than reacting to others?